Betrayal - [How To] Move on

Betrayal is something we all have experienced in our lives. We place a high value on our romantic and family relationships and these betrayals hurt deeply and can be devastating. Sometimes we ignore the power of our friendships and the betrayal of a friend can cut just as deep. 

One thing I have learned over the decades of friendships is the cliques and cat girl clashes from high school don't end there. High School is training you for what is to come. What you thought was mean in high school only gets meaner and more conniving as you get older. 

I have been betrayed by other females my whole life, which happens quite often to woman everywhere. From that mean note sent to me by all the girls in 5th grade to my best friend calling me nasty names and posting it publically on Facebook to the friends who just cut me out of their lives with out getting my side of the story to the woman who goes behind your back  to move in on your relationship. 

That intense feeling of being backstabbed and hurt by your same gender and someone you thought was your friend is hard to overcome. The pain caused by females you consider friends hurts at the deepest levels. 

As women we should be lifting each other up and supporting one another not hurting each other. There is no greater gift than the loyalty and support from other women. 

Even though I have had many betrayals from women friends in my life, I am extremely lucky to have met some amazing women during my Jeep adventures. These woman have been so uplifting and supportive. They have gotten me through some very dark times. I will never forget their support and hope someday I can be there for them in a time of need. 

As I struggle with betrayal, I found ways to help me get over the pain and move on.

• Accept the betrayal by a friend was deeply hurtful. Don't bury it deep in your mind. 
• Try to have an honest conversation with your friend, if you can. I wrote a letter. 
• Understand why you feel so betrayed. 
• Sometimes you might want to keep that friendship so you need to find a way to forgive. If you don't want to keep the friendship just say good-bye and move on. 
  
  I also learned some hard lessons, like maybe I am too trusting and give too much of myself in relationships. It has made me rethink my boundaries which is what I am working on right now. I found if you don't learn lessons from these hurts and make changes in yourself, you will continue to get hurt. It is important to go through the steps to heal properly or you will just keep finding yourself in these situations over and over again. 

 

Top 5 Camping Equipment I Use the Most

My love for camping started at a very young age. My favorite thing to do is being outdoors, sitting by the fire with friends sharing stories. I regret not sharing my love earlier with my kids.

Growing up in Minnesota and North Dakota spending summers fishing and camping are some of my most favorite memories of my childhood. Being out in the wilderness building forts, building sand castles on the lake shore and making smores by the campfire were how I spent my summers as a kid. 

Now I combine my off-road adventures with my childhood love, camping with my Jeep. 

However, as a Jeep owner I know my space is limited. So, I need to be smart and take only the camping gear necessities. 

There are two reasons to be frugal on what I pack into my Jeep. The first is the limited space for camping gear as my Jeep is all ready full of my recovery gear and tools. 

The second reason is I want to be able to relax and enjoy myself when I am out camping. The less items I have means a quicker set up, tear down and easier clean up which leaves more time to relax and enjoy nature. You don’t need a whole lot of stuff to enjoy a couple of days out in nature. 

Jeep Momma's Top 5 [Must Have] Camping Gear Items 

Shelter - a tent & sleeping gear, or hammock, or the back of your vehicle. Sleeping in the back of my Jeep is my preferred choice which means I need to be strategic about what I pack into my Jeep. 

It is a good idea to weigh your options of setting up and tearing down a tent vs. less stuff and sleeping in the back of your Jeep. If you have a 4 door.  

Cooking Grate over the fire is my favorite way to cook. You don’t need to have a big camp stove with propane to carry in your Jeep. Just make sure there are no fire bans before you head out on your adventure.  

Cast Iron Pan – If you plan your meals right this is all you need to cook. There is no reason to get all fancy out on your adventure. With your cooking grate, tin foil and the cast iron pan you can make some great meals. And still have time to enjoy your time.   

LT Wright knives & machete

I love my LT Wright kitchen set. I take them with me every time. The machete also works great for making tinder and kindling for the fire!   

Jeep Momma Review 

Camp Chair - Camping is about relaxing and enjoying the simple things. I love chilling in my camp chair by the campfire. 

I look forward to the weather warming up so I can get back out to the great outdoors. Check out my other video Top 5 must have items when you are primitivecamping. 

Self-Compassion A Long Journey Ahead

One of my "selfs" I need to work on is self compassion. Being compassionate with other people is extremely easy for me, but I am not very good at being compassionate to myself. I am critical of myself and when I feel I may not have made the right choices I am very hard on myself. Being hard on yourself can be a good thing, but at some point you need to be kind and forgiving.

As I look back on my perceived bad decisions, bad choices or
mistakes I question those choices and beat myself up over them always looking at the negative aspect of the situation. I need to understand my perception now as I look back is one of clarity, understanding, and maturity of the situation and I am in a totally different place. 

[Steps to Improve My Self-Compassion]

• Look at the positive parts of those decisions 
• Focusing on the lesson learned to become a better person
• Let go and move on
• Journal the experience

I need to let go of the embarrassment and shame of going through difficult life events. Everyone goes through these type of life events and they can be hard for anyone. 

Analyzing over and over every aspect of my decisions and second guessing myself needs to stop. I need to remind myself I was in a different state of mind at that time in my life. Those decisions were made and can't be changed. I believe in my heart I made the right choices but certain outcomes make you question yourself.  Self-judgment can lead to anxiety, insecurity or depression. 

As I reflect on my self-compassion I am looking for ways to be more compassionate and forgiving with myself.  This self healing will be a longer journey than the others. 

Frozen Lake Driving Tips

I have driven my Jeep on many terrains such as rocks, mud, slick rock, snow, dirt roads, mountain shelf roads, and dried up creek beds. Each one presents it's own challenges. 

The terrain I took my Jeep on this past month has got to be one of the scariest and most dangerous of all terrains.  A frozen lake! 

Jeep Momma
YouTube Video

We weren't on the lake for a day of wheeling. We were driving to and from a fish house, which if you live in the great frozen tundra of Minnesota it is a way of life. 

You shouldn’t take it for granted. You need to take many precautions and drive with care. If you are driving on the ice for the first time I highly suggest you find an experienced frozen lake driver to go with you because you need to be prepared for the worst.

[Top 5 Tips] 
I learned about driving My Jeep on a frozen lake. 

Know the thickness of the ice
If you have a medium sized truck you need to wait for the ice to be at least 12 to 15 inches thick before you take your vehicle out on the ice. You need to check the ice every so many feet to make sure the whole lake is frozen.

Drive with your windows rolled down in case you go through the ice. You will need a quick escape. I have one of those tools that can break a window, but by the time I reach for it in my glove box it could be too late.

Don’t fasten your seatbelt... again this is for a quick escape. 

Stay well-spaced apart from other vehicles and fish houses when you are driving and parking on the frozen lake. You don’t want all the weight pilling up in one spot. 

Don’t drive fast. Fast driving sets up a pressure wave on the ice that can cause the ice to fracture. My niece shared this with me and said a good example of this is on the show Ice Road on Netflix. 

Anytime you take your Jeep out no matter what the terrain you should always be prepared from extra gas to water and food, to wearing the proper shoes, having the proper gear the list goes on. 

Self-Confidence

Gaslighting is an term we hear about a lot, but do you truly understand what it is all about? The more we talk about this term the more we can become aware of what it is and how it can damage your self's and your confidence. First you need to understand what Gaslighting is and the signs to look out for before you can begin to heal and take care of your Self's. 

Gaslighting is form of emotional and psychological manipulating using the primary techniques of withholding, countering, blocking, trivializing and denial. This effort undermines the truth and causes confusion for the victim making them question their own emotions and sanity. Gaslighting a victim over a long period of time destroys the victims self-esteem and self-confidence creating insecurity and denying their own intuition. 

Once you figure out the problem is not you, the rebuilding process can begin. It can be a long, arduous journey depending on how long the abuse has been going on. 

Working on your "Self's" is so important. Here are links to tips on how to take care of some of your "Self's".

Self-Love & Self-Care & Self-Image

Another self is Self-Confidence which is trusting your judgment, capacities and abilities. A strong self-confidence helps your self-esteem.

Tips on Building Your Self-Confidence

Surround Yourself with Positive People 
Stop Comparing Yourself with Others
Take Care of Your Body
Be Kind to Yourself
Practice Positive Self-Talk
Face Your Fears
Laugh at Yourself
Admit Mistakes & Accept Responsibility
Stay Open Minded

Self-Love & Self-Care & Self-Image

Signs of Gaslighting

You doubt your feelings and reality.
You question your judgment and perceptions.
You feel vulnerable and insecure.
You feel alone and powerless.
You wonder if you are what they say you are.
You are disappointed in yourself and who you have become.
You feel confused.
You worry that you are too sensitive.
You have a sense of impending doom.
You apologize a lot.
You feel inadequate.
You second-guess yourself.
You assume others are disappointed in you.
You wonder what's wrong with you.
You struggle to make decisions because you distrust yourself.

[How To] Be a Jeep Girl with Confidence

Top 5 Tips

In the past, many years ago, it was rare to see a woman behind the wheel of a Jeep on those off-road trails. Now a days the number of women off roaders has grown. Sometimes it can be intimidating to hit the trails with a group of Jeepers especially if you have never wheeled with the group before. 

I remember those first couple of years on the trail. I was intimidated being in a world made up of mostly men. Fortunately, I have always had a very positive experience, and everyone was so helpful and patient with me. That is not always the case.

Jeep Momma's YouTube Video 

As a Jeep Girl you can be your own worst enemy. Here are some tips to help build your confidence on the trail and so you don’t ambush yourself.

Know Your Jeep! 

This first one is a biggie. Know Your Jeep! There was one time a new Jeep Girl was on a trail ride I hosted. Someone else had been working on her Jeep and trailered it to the trail. Once off the trailer she got behind the wheel and we headed out. Not to far into the trail her Jeep ran out of gas. She had no extra gas, nor any Jeep supplies like recovery gear or tools, nothing. Know your Jeep. Make sure you go over your Jeep before each trail ride to make sure it is trail ready. It is your Jeep you should have knowledge of your Jeep.

Be Prepared with Proper Gear!

If you don’t know what you should stock up on you can check out my other videos. They will give you the basics to get you started. It can be overwhelming, and you can’t have everything at once but at least get the basics. We all need help on the trails, but you shouldn’t be totally helpless. There is a link from my blog post a checklist of some basic needs.

Off-Road Checklist

Know Trail Etiquette

This same Jeep Girl was unaware of the trail etiquette and created some bad situations. Know the “rules” of the trail, at least the basics like the role of the trail guide, always follow the trail guide and don’t go off by yourself. 

 Always check your rear-view mirror so you know when your group has stopped. Those are just a few. There are more links of examples in the description.

Trail Etiquette Top 5 Tips - Jeep Momma YouTube Video

Off-Road Tips & Must Have's

Confidence 

Try to do your own modifications. Don't attempt a engine swap or lift your Jeep right off the bat. You can start small with a headlight swap or adding basic sliders to your Jeep. Don’t be overwhelmed and let the modifications intimidate you. Usually, the companies of the Jeep parts are very helpful, and you can call them for help, or you can reach out to Jeepers in a local group.

Respect

Don’t sabotage your own respect by disrespecting yourself by posting those half naked pictures with your Jeep. Post with dignity and you will be treated with dignity.

If you are new to the Jeep life or having trouble fitting in, these Top 5 confidence builders might help you get a good start. If you ever find yourself struggling feel free to reach out to me I would be happy to help you.

Self-Love isn't Selfish [How To]

We all go through trials, hardships, and bad relationships. It is a part of life and growing as a person. However, sometimes getting back up on our feet can be extremely hard especially when there has been emotional abuse and you have lost yourself along the way. 

Emotional abuse such as manipulation and gaslighting can cause trauma to your brain. 

Suspicious & untrusting

Negative & pessimistic

Addictive

Self sabotaging

Scattered & disturbed

Demotivated & drained of energy

Self Critical

Judgmental of yourself

Emotionally cut off

Healing from this type of trauma takes a lot of determination, education, and self-love. Understanding what you went through is a first step. Another step is understanding what it means to Self-Love. 

Self-love means something different to each of us, as we all have different needs to take care of ourselves. Seeking professional help can guide you to figuring out what your self-love looks like. 

For me self-love seems a little selfish, but it really isn't. It is a state of appreciation for myself which means I have a high regard for my well-being and happiness. Taking care of my own needs and not sacrifice my well-being to please others are actions that support my physical, mental and spiritual growth. Self-love means not settling for less than I deserve which will lead to improved self-respect and self-esteem. 

Tips for My Self-Love

• Talking to myself love
• Prioritize myself
• Give myself a break from self-judgement
• Trust myself 
• Being true to myself
• Be nice to myself
• Set healthy boundaries
• Forgive myself

Self-love is another way to Self-care [Jeep Momma Post]

More about Self-Love...

What NOT to Buy

Top 5 Modification & Accessories
What NOT to Buy for Your Jeep

There is a saying Jeep stands for Just Empty Every Pocket.
When you start buying accessories and modifications that spending adds up, so sometimes you need to be smart about spending your money.

When you start down the path of modifications and accessories, it can get out of control because you are so excited to buy Jeep stuff. It is almost like an addiction and can get out of control. 

To help you save money or from being teased by your fellow Jeepers and friends, here are some Jeep Momma tips to keep you on the right path. There are just some Jeep parts that you should not put on your Jeep.

These are just my opinions as I am sure some Jeepers may not agree. Again, just my opinion I don’t meant to offend anyone.

What Not to Buy Jeep Momma YouTube Video

1. Angry Grille - The seven slot grille is iconic and what Jeep is famous for. I believe covering up the seven slots is sacrilege Why even get a Jeep if you are going to disrespect the seven slots with an Angry Grille? It breaks my heart when I see Jeeps with the angry grille as they are covering up one of the cool things about Jeep.

2. Electric slide out side steps - Having a step to get into your Jeep for some is important. However, you need to be very careful on what kind of step you purchase. There are side steps that slide out from under your Jeep when you open your door. While these are cool, they can do a lot of damage to your Jeep or they could get torn off if you ever decide to take your Jeep off road. There are better options out there that are more practical for a Jeep. I love my Barricade Rock sliders. They protect my Jeep while I am off road and on the rocks, plus they work great to get into my lifted Jeep.

3. Colored headlights -  Led Headlights are a must, but please don’t make them colored. They are useless unless they are white, yellow or blue any other color is illegal to drive with them one, so in essence you are wasting your money. You would only be able to use them when parked. You are better off spending your money on some other colored accessory that you can appreciate when your Jeep is on the road.

4. Wheels with silly off sets and low profile tires - Jeeps are built for off-roading and these type of tires and wheels are worthless unless you leave your Jeep sitting on the showroom floor.  

5. Eyelashes  - Let’s just leave fake eyelashes for the trendy young girls. These things don’t need to be put on your Jeep. Just plain stupid… In My opinion.

For more of Jeep Momma’s Top 5 and How To videos check out my YouTube Channel.