Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Betrayal - [How To] Move on

Betrayal is something we all have experienced in our lives. We place a high value on our romantic and family relationships and these betrayals hurt deeply and can be devastating. Sometimes we ignore the power of our friendships and the betrayal of a friend can cut just as deep. 


One thing I have learned over the decades of friendships is the cliques and cat girl clashes from high school don't end there. High School is training you for what is to come. What you thought was mean in high school only gets meaner and more conniving as you get older. 

I have been betrayed by other females my whole life, which happens quite often to woman everywhere. From that mean note sent to me by all the girls in 5th grade to my best friend calling me nasty names and posting it publically on Facebook to the friends who just cut me out of their lives with out getting my side of the story to the woman who goes behind your back  to move in on your relationship. 

That intense feeling of being backstabbed and hurt by your same gender and someone you thought was your friend is hard to overcome. The pain caused by females you consider friends hurts at the deepest levels. 

As women we should be lifting each other up and supporting one another not hurting each other. There is no greater gift than the loyalty and support from other women. 

Even though I have had many betrayals from women friends in my life, I am extremely lucky to have met some amazing women during my Jeep adventures. These woman have been so uplifting and supportive. They have gotten me through some very dark times. I will never forget their support and hope someday I can be there for them in a time of need. 

As I struggle with betrayal, I found ways to help me get over the pain and move on.

  • Accept the betrayal by a friend was deeply hurtful. Don't bury it deep in your mind. 
  • Try to have an honest conversation with your friend, if you can. I wrote a letter. 
  • Understand why you feel so betrayed. 
  • Sometimes you might want to keep that friendship so you need to find a way to forgive. If you don't want to keep the friendship just say good-bye and move on. 

    I also learned some hard lessons, like maybe I am too trusting and give too much of myself in relationships. It has made me rethink my boundaries which is what I am working on right now. I found if you don't learn lessons from these hurts and make changes in yourself, you will continue to get hurt. It is important to go through the steps to heal properly or you will just keep finding yourself in these situations over and over again. 

 




2 comments:

  1. You are a warrior! So glad to see you taking care of YOU first. Being betrayed by anyone is always a hard pill, but if you believe in Karma…well they will get theirs one day. There are so many good people out there that will have their lives enriched from having you as their friend, so stand by!! 😁

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  2. Thanks Tammy. Jesus, predicted that betrayal is so powerful that even someone as committed like Peter would do so before the Rooster crowed three times. When I was counselor I told patients to look at those who hurt them or betrayed them as someone is sick with cancer or extreme mental illness. This enables you to observe someone as needing your patience and compassion without becoming a doormat. Anger can be healthy with those minds sets. It allows you to be above the strive and the freedom to move on past the wrong committed upon you.

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