Wednesday, March 9, 2022

Emotional Declutter - Fresh Start

For the past decade I have been slowly Simplifying My Life.  It has been a long process and I have found I thrive in the simple. Decluttering of tangible belongings was my first step. Other ways I decluttered my life were commitments and toxic relationships.

It is always an ongoing process for me, and now I find myself in an emotional declutter. Part of this declutter is gaining self-awareness. My self-awareness is knowing my strengths, weakness, and clearing my mind to really see my mental and emotional states. 

Self-awareness is a mindful consciousness of your strengths, weaknesses, actions and presence. Self-awareness requires having a clear perception of your mental and emotional states

The past several days I have spent in solitude getting a deeper assessment of my emotional clutter and sorting it all out. Music has helped a lot, I prefer classic rock. This won't be done in a week as I am just beginning this long journey.

I am starting over from scratch. The past three years have been an emotional
rollercoaster from all the highs and lows. Those lows have brought about so many losses. Losses of my homes, communities, friends and financial stability. When you lose everything you spent thirty-five years building you go through a myriad of emotions that are extremely overwhelming and difficult to come to terms with.  

Starting over this second time is not easy. Letting go of my life from the past three years has been a struggle. Letting go of memories and friendships that no longer exist. Realizing some of those friendships didn't really exist in the first place.

You begin to question yourself and life in general. My goal is to clear out the emotional baggage that no longer serves me. Right now, I am trying to understand what that baggage is. 

I keep hearing "Let it go " "Move on" "Put it all behind you and forget about it all". Honestly, that is not a healthy way to heal. Just shoving it off into a corner of your mind and forgetting about the hurt and betrayal doesn't work. This is the time to take a deep look at how I got here. 

Taking a deep look at myself, I realize a few things I need to change. I am too trusting. I don't stick up for myself and let people walk all over me. I want to see the good in people and it's not always there. I worry more about other people's feelings than my own. That is just the beginning. Getting a clear picture of myself I can begin to set boundaries for myself. 
As I finish up my week of solitude I will continue on my journey to declutter my emotional mind. There are great ways to do this. I have all ready started on some. 

Education: Learning about what you went through. If you have been in a toxic relationship understanding the emotional abuse you went through is a good first step.  

Self-Care: This is so important when you are going through a difficult emotional time. Check out my self-care blog post for more ways to take care of yourself. 

Journaling: spending time writing down your thoughts and feelings helps to start the process of healing. You begin to see the red flags you missed and boundaries you need to set. You discover your strengths and weaknesses. This can help you heal, grow, and hopefully thrive one day. 

Talk to a professional: This isn't for everyone but something that may be helpful for some. They can help you get started in the healing process if you are at a point where it is all overwhelming. 

Next time you see a friend or loved one going through an emotional struggle don't give them the typical advice. Telling your friend or loved one going through a relationship loss to "Let it Go" or "move on" doesn't help. It actually does them more  harm because if they don't process what they went through they will continue to go through these types of relationships.  

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