Thursday, January 27, 2022

Forgiveness Doesn't Excuse the Harm Done

Once you truly understand what forgiveness is, you can begin the process of healing. Healing from a destructive relationship requires forgiving the manipulative and destructive partner. I realize I played a role in my emotional abuse by letting it happen to me and not loving myself enough to stop it. So, I need to learn to forgive myself, as well.

Definition of Forgiveness ~The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley

"Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability.

Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life." 

For me, forgiveness is a big hurdle, especially because of my damaged psyche and soul from the emotional manipulation. With all the research creating my blog posts, and writing about what I am learning, helps me to heal my heart, mind, and soul. Forgiving doesn’t mean that I will overlook what happened or that the offender is blameless. Forgiveness is for me to make a conscious choice to release the negative emotions from my life. It helps to relieve the burden, pain and the stress from holding onto the resentment. Forgiving doesn't mean I condone what happened and isn't about making excuses for the offending person’s behavior or pretending it didn’t happen. Forgiveness means letting go of the anger and resentment so it can bring a peace to help me go on with my life.

Steps I am Working on to Forgive

Understanding the "Why" someone acts the way they do is an important first step in the forgiveness process. Why are they have certain defense mechanisms like aggression, depression, defensiveness, narcissism. Investigate what are they protecting? What are they afraid of?

Empathy - Seeing the situation from the other person's point of view. 

Journaling - Putting the emotions on paper gives them a place to live outside of yourself and your body. This validates your emotions by breathing life into them. 

Time - Be aware this is a process and you may need to revisit the process over and over. 
When you are hurt by someone you love and trust can cause anger, sadness and confusion. Dwelling on the hurtful situation can fill you with resentment. That resentment will turn into vengeance and hostility can take root. If you let the negative feelings to overtake the positive feelings, you might find yourself drowning in your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

Anger work is important to release the rage and blame in a primal way. There are many ways to do this. Go into nature to yell or scream. I do this in my Jeep. Cry. Hit something like your couch cushions. Take a boxing class. Allow yourself to be fully disappointed, sad or depressed. Talk about it with a friend or professional. Give yourself permission to thoroughly feel the emotions. 

The hurt could always be with me, but hopefully forgiveness will lessen the hold it has on me so I can move forward with my life. 



Tuesday, January 25, 2022

Goosenecks of the San Juan River

Jeep Momma Getaway


During my many adventures, I have come across some
amazing scenic stops. One of those stops is the Goosenecks State Park in Utah with the most spectacular views. 



This park sits on the edge of a deep canyon, 1000 feet above the San Juan River. The sinuous river meander is known as a gooseneck, officially called entrenched meander. 
The San Juan river makes a series of tight turns below the state park. 



The river has carved out a deep canyon at this location which Geologists say over 300 million years of erosion has uncovered a record amount of rock. There are six miles of the twists of the entrenched meander, the distance of one an a half miles.


There is room for primitive camping at the state park but spots are limited. The views are breathtaking and I highly suggest you add this stop to your bucket list.







Thursday, January 20, 2022

Taking out the Garbage

Part of healing is getting rid of left over beliefs. This new mindset helps with the healing process which improves your health and peace of mind. I am in the process of healing from a relationship loss, community loss, and loss of friendships. Most people go through these changes many times through out their lives. Loss is a normal part of life. However, sometimes the loss involves more.  

Some losses are more difficult to deal with dues to other circumstances such as emotional manipulation, addictions or physical abuse. Those losses can take longer to deal with and need professional help. 

As I work on my mental well being one of my paths is to educate myself and learn from other's who have been through the same type of loss. A good way to help accept the loss and move forward is to change your mindset.  

6 Mindset Changes I am Working Towards 

To stop blaming myself from not handling things better. 

To acknowledge what I went through.

To stop criticizing myself for being too emotional.

To stop shaming myself for being too needy.

To stop criticizing myself for not getting over it faster. 


Tuesday, January 18, 2022

Quick Tip [Jeep Tip]

Before you hit the road when you are heading out on a trip, any trip, check to see if any roads along your route are closed. I made this mistake before the Hole in the Rock trip in October 2021. 


There was a washout on Utah 95 heading to the trail so we were detoured. We ended up on some sketchy unknown gravel road with steep climbs and turns. It was a little sketchy as we had our Jeeps on the trailers.  

It was even more scarier on the way back home after our 3-day adventure. They 
detoured us to Mexican Hat, Utah. Little did we know we were on Utah’s Scariest Road. HOLY MOLY!!!  It was by far one of the scariest roads I have been on. Especially since we were still pulling my Jeep on a trailer. 



The road is called Moki Dugway. “Dugway” is a term used to describe a roadway carved from a hillside. This Scenic By-way is a stretch of Highway 261 in Utah where the blacktop turns into a dirt road. 







The gravel road is a three-mile long switchback road carved right into the side of the mountain with 11% grade hair pin turns. 













NO GUARDRAILS with sheer cliffs. It you happen to get detoured to this road the views are absolutely spectacular! 


Wheel Tire Land vehicle Sky Vehicle
 
Tire Vehicle Sky Automotive tire Motor vehicle
 
Sky Vehicle Tire Wheel Automotive tire
 
Smile Glasses Sky Tire Vision care
 
Tire Wheel Vehicle Plant Hood
 
Tire Wheel Sky Car Vehicle
 
Wheel Tire Vehicle Plant Plant community
 
Brown Sky Cloud Bedrock Slope
 
Car Vehicle Mountain Sky Ecoregion
 

Tuesday, January 11, 2022

Jeep Momma Challenge

Top 5 Moments That Changed My Life
[#Top5LifeChangeChallenge]Click for more


Kiss in the Coat Closet

December of 1997 - I snuck a kiss in a coat closet with a co-worker, that kiss turned into a date, then eventually a marriage of 20 years, and that marriage gave me the best thing ever - My two sons!

Birth of My Kids

November of 1999 and August of 2005 when my two boys came into my life. Those memories are etched into my mind forever. Now, I cherish every moment with them. Being their mom was the best thing to ever happen to me!





Becoming a Jeep Wrangler Mom


May of 2013 when we traded my soccer mom family vehicle for my first Jeep, I had no idea how that would change the trajectory of my life. 

Read more here My Journey




Starting my blog

Being a stay at home mom is a difficult job because one day you begin to realize your kids don't need you as much. In 2013, I struggled to figure out what was next for my life. A friend and fellow mom blogger suggested I start a blog about my new Jeep life as a mom. That blog turned into off-roading, then into a YouTube channel, and then into a whole new journey in my life.  

Moving to Colorado

Leaving my kids for a new adventure in life in December of 2019 was the hardest decision I ever made. I still have a hard time coming to terms with the decision. However, it turned into the most amazing journey ever. I meet some great new friends and had so many fantastic adventures. I also learned some very hard lessons in life, but I know I will come out of it as a better person. 

Monday, January 10, 2022

3 Day Adventure

Hole in the Rock, A Jeep Badge of Honor Trail 
Southeastern Utah

There are 5 videos of this adventure on my YouTube channel.

This trail is listed on the National Register of Historic places. It follows the path the Mormon's carved out in the 1800’s, a silent monument to the faith and tenacity of those first Mormon pioneers. 



Don’t confuse this trail with Hole in the Rock Road. This trail is rated a 4 to 6 out of 10. It is a long exhausting trail. There were times we were unsure of the path the trail took. It is not well marked, and in some places not at all. You should definitely have a GPS map. 




The beauty is unmatched anywhere in the US. We made many stops to soak in the vast beauty. Give yourself plenty of time on the trail. I would say at at least 2 nights on the trail and 3 days at a minimum.

I have heard some folks have pushed hard and done it in 12 hours, but that is during times when the days are longer. Plus, knowing the trail gives you a big advantage. 

The trail is one-way in and one way out. It is a long intense trail. You need to be on your A game. Several times on the trail as we traversed up and down the slick rocks. Many times we got out to scout the terrain to find the right path. 

Unfortunately, we did not make it all the way to the end. We still had 1.7 miles left and decided to turn around. That 1.7 miles probably would have taken at least 2 hours there then 2 hours back. We were on a time crunch, plus we didn’t want to chance it with the gas. Bring extra gas!!! I am pretty sure we would have made the whole trip with the gas we had since we trailered our Jeeps into the trail, but we didn’t want to chance it as the area is one of the most remote places in the country. 

Our first night we set up camp on the trail head, one night on the trail, and a
second night at the trailhead again. We were there in October so the day light was limited.

There is a really cool camp spot. A place in the rocks that opens up into an amazing cavern. We spent the night in this cavern with a coyote as we heard him drinking water from some pools of water. This is right after poopy pants hill. A very scary obstacle near Grey Mesa that if you are a millimeter off you go careening down a cavern.


Near the end of the trail, where you turn around and head back, are several rock formations to wheel over and vertical rock faces to climb. There is also The Chute which looks kind of like Hells Gate. Getting down into the chute can be tough but the chute is not that bad. It just looks intimidating.

It was an amazing adventure so I can finish the trail. 



Wednesday, January 5, 2022

Obvious Things We Neglect But Shouldn't


Self-Care may seem like a no brainer, yet at the same time we can misunderstand the true meaning. Self-care isn't necessarily indulgences like a massage or pedicure. Self-Care is what we do for ourselves to establish and maintain health, and to prevent and deal with illness. It is to practice self compassion, beware of emotional boundaries, and to learn to say no.

It is surprising how many of us ignore these basic needs for our physical and mental health. There are many self-care practices that we sometimes neglect. These are the basics needs we should be doing for ourselves everyday. 

Below are some and items I will be working on for myself. At the bottom of this post are more links for you to find ways to work on your own self-care.

Emotional self-care is being able to identify, understand, and care for our emotions, plus being able to cope with life stresses.

-Stop Being a people pleaser 
-Stop Apologizing for things I didn't do

More Emotional Self Care Tips

Physical self-care is getting the necessary exercise, having a healthy balanced
diet, getting enough solid sleep, regular health check ups, not getting too much sun exposure, and good hygiene.

-Incorporate exercise into my daily life, and make it a routine. 
-Drink lots of water, and cut out sodas.
-Reduce the amount of processed foods in my diet.
-Get more good solid sleep at least seven hours a night. 
-Create a stretching routine every day.    

Supporting your health with these consistent practices has been correlated with increased longevity of your life.  

Mental self-care is learning to manage my thoughts, seek help when needed, engaging my brain and setting clear boundaries. It is a balance of mind, body and soul. 

-Seeing a therapist and setting boundaries is one of my top goals for this year.
-Learn to properly manage my negative thoughts. 
-Start to focus on the positive. 

Social self-care is social interaction with friends and family. The relationships you create. 

-Cut out the toxic people in my life
-Start hanging out with healthy people who lift me up and not tear me down. 

Spiritual self-care is to cultivate an inner world of peace and serenity, feeling balanced, calm, and connected with yourself and the world at a deep spiritual level.

-Learn to clear my mind with meditation
-More Prayer 
-Practice Gratitude  

Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Self-Image

 Pilgrimage of Healing my Heart, Mind and Soul - Day 38

I know there are people out there wondering what are you healing from? 
A break up? Break ups happen all the time. They are a normal part of life. That is true. 

However, not all relationships are "normal". As I research to try to get answers to understand why I feel the way I do, I am finding mine was certainly far from normal, but not rare.  There are millions of people who face these types of relationships daily. Emotional manipulation can play havoc on your brain. It can mess with how you feel about your "Selfs". That is what I am focusing on, healing me and my many selfs. 

With the information super highway at our fingertips it makes it easier to educate yourself. Knowledge is so important to understanding the why's and the how to's. For me understanding is an important process in healing. I need to be able to move on as well as not to make the same mistakes again. When your eyes are wide open and you are knowledgeable, you can make better decisions. Researching and talking to others with the same experience is vital to healing. It helps you to realize you are not alone. There are people out there who understand what you are going through. 

One of the first steps in my healing is learning about the different selfs, and the role they play in my life. Then I can begin to create boundaries for myself. Those boundaries can help me to have healthy relationships. 

For me Step 1 was learning I am WORTH!  Self-Worth Blog Post 11/21/21 Step 2 was learning how to value myself. Self-ValueBlog Post 12/09/21  Now I delve into my Self-image. Right now it is not very healthy. 

Self-Image is how you see yourself internally and externally. It is how you feel about yourself based on your appearance and what kind of person you believe you are. Self-Image is a part of your self-esteem. 

One of the important aspects of having a good self-image is being able to forgive yourself for past mistakes. Just because you made mistakes in the past doesn't mean you are a "bad person"  You need to let go of a self-image you may have based on other people's judgments. That is one of my biggest hurdles, caring about what other people think of me and believing those judgments.  

Steps to take to help improve your Self-Image

Forgive yourself
Spend time with supportive people
Don't fall into the comparison trap
Don't let the haters stop you from being you
Exercise, Good sleep and healthy food
Do what you enjoy

More ways to improve your self-image article 

For a deeper look at self-image check out this article




Thursday, December 23, 2021

Get That Dopamine Flowing

Pilgrimage of Healing My Heart, Mind and Soul - Day 32

With the New Year upon us, traditionally it is time to come up with a New Year's Resolution. Typically these rarely work because we set big, overly ambitious resolutions. They become overwhelming and too much, so we give up on them. 

The same goes with creating your bucket list. There are lists all over the internet of unattainable ideas for us average folk. We would all love to see these exciting places in the world, but who has that kind of money and time? All you do is set yourself up for disappointment in creating an unrealistic "Bucket List" and unrealistic "Goals or Resolutions".


See My Adventure Bucket List Below

I look at my goals and bucket list the same way. I create attainable, short-term goals and adventures that are quick wins that leave me feeling accomplished. Feeling good about yourself is good for the mind and soul which motivates you to do more.

I like to set goals that are simple, measurable and attainable. In my past experiences, small, short-term goals are much easier to accomplish than big out of this world goal. I also update my goals every couple of months. It is good to re-evaluate them periodically.

Short-term Goal

Short term goals can help you achieve your "bigger" goals. They are called short for a reason, because you can accomplish them in a quick time frame. By understanding how the brain processes success and failure helps you jump start your productivity to create winning ways. These winning ways help put an end to failed New Year's Resolutions. These small wins propel you to bigger successes. 

The more times you succeed at something, the longer your brain stores the information that allowed you to do so well in the first place. That’s because with each success, our brain releases a chemical called dopamine. When dopamine flows into the brain's reward pathway (the part responsible for pleasure, learning and motivation), we not only feel greater concentration but are inspired to re-experience the activity that caused the chemical release in the first place." ~Entrepenuer.com  

                      __________________________________________

29 Goals for a Fulfilling Life - Click Here

Psychologists studied good goal-making and found the S.M.A.R.T. goal technique as successful

Simple: Make it straightforward with few words. More than that will begin to feel overwhelming.

Measurable: Your goal should be easily quantifiable. Find a way to tell whether you’re doing it or not and track that.

Attainable: Be reasonable with yourself: It’s great to be ambitious in the long term, but short-term goals should be achievable steps toward growth.

Relevant: Why is this goal important? Does it enhance or conflict with larger goals? Does it align with your current physical, mental, or financial reality?

Time-based: Goals should have a time frame assigned to them so you can adjust or improve as you go

___________________________________________

Attainable Bucket List Ideas for the New Year to get you started

1. Make a drastic change- cut your hair, move, paint your nails black instead of red. 

2. Leave your mark somewhere cool. Leave A Legacy Click Here

3. Adopt a pet from a shelter.

4. Set a goal and meet it. It could be a small goal to get you started to that feeling of accomplishment. If you are trying to get healthy you might set the goal of drink only water for that week. 

5. Face at least one of your fears, no matter how stupid.

6. Buy someone a drink from across the bar.

7. Get a pen pal, the old fashioned way by writing letters and mailing them.

8. Learn a weird skill like juggling, or how to moon walk - Click Here for more ideas 

9. Have a picnic.

10. Make your own bucket list.

I recently checked off "Standing on the Corner of Winslow, Arizona", the "River-
walk" in San Antonio, and Sturgis (not during Bike Week). They weren't extravagant adventures but I got to at least visit these places. I would like to go back to all three of these places one day. Check out Jeep Momma's Top 5 Must See Towns Across America



Jeep Momma's Top 10 Must See Towns Across America

Jeep Momma Adventure Bucket List Ideas

Yellowstone National Park
Grand Tetons
Bryce National Park
Crater of the Moon
The Alamo
Zion National Park
Mount Rainier
Olympic National Park
Cannon Beach
Crater Lake
Winslow, Arizona
Death Valley
The Keys
Mount Washington
North Rim Grand Canyon
White Pocket, Arizona
Crawl Daddy at Rausch Creek
Rock Creek at Rausch Creek
Wheel the Kentucky Adventure Trail
Off Road at Windrock Off-Road Park
Overland thru Canada to Alaska
Biker Week in Sturgis
Hike Old Rag
Hike part of the Pacific Crest Trail
Gold Mine in Alaska
Visit a "Dude Ranch"
Hike & Wheel Big Bend National Park
Visit My Family Farm in Norway 

Tuesday, December 21, 2021

Jeep Momma's Top 10 Must See Towns Across America

Must Add to Your Bucket List

Saguache, Monte Vista, Del Norte [San Luis Valley, Colorado]

Saguache, Home of the Original Jeep Rescue League, in the heart of the Rockies, a must see! Several vintage and antique Jeeps on display along with some cool military vehicles. The headquarters is also home to several military exhibits.

Saving Jeeps one Jeep at a Time Blog Post 

Nearby this small mountain town is Elephant rocks, and Natural Arch just a short drive from Del Norte, Colorado. Del Norte is settled along the Rio Grande River which is a great place for some fishing. About an hour's drive is Great Sand Dunes National Park and Zapata Falls. There is a fun off-road trail in the Sand Dunes park up to Medano pass where you can see some amazing views. 

Nearby is Monte Vista home to the Crane Festival where you will find more 4x4 trails. Just a short drive from Monte Vista is the trail Bishop's Rock as well as trails that will lead you to Elwood Pass as well. The Gaia GPS app will help you find these trails. 

There is a Jeep adventure in all directions from the San Luis Valley. Check out the Chinaman's Gulch Trail & Carnage Canyon a trail for only series rock crawlers just over Poncha Springs Pass, near Buena Vista Colorado.  A mecca of fun for any overlander. See other my other Colorado towns for more great Jeep Trails.


Moab, Utah

A must stop for every off-roader! However, you don't need to be an off-roader to enjoy Moab. There is so much beauty to see. Arches National Park, Canyonlands National Park, The Colorado River, 3 Scenic By-ways - Utah 128 is absolutely breathtaking, Deadhorse state park and nearby ghost town Cisco. 

Jeep Momma Moab Adventure



Oatman, Arizona

A small village on old Route 66 in Mojave County, Arizona. Fun shops and "wild" Burros that wander the streets. The Burros are descendants of the burros brought to the area by the miners. In the early 1900's Oatman, a tent city, was a thriving gold mining center.  



Creede, Colorado

 A quaint small town nestled in the mountains of Colorado. Main Street shopping, nearby Stoney Creek Pass a 4x4 trail that takes you to the Alpine Loop Near Silverton, Colorado. There are other great scenic drives bachelor’s Loop Tour a 22-mile scenic off road drive up and around the historic mining district. The trail is rated moderate. Just down the road is Pool Table Road which takes you the Wheeler Geological Area https://www.southfork.org/wheeler-geological-area which has the most fantastic geological features in the San Juan Mountains. Another must see North Clear Creek Falls and South Clear Creek Fall Unexpected scenic waterfall just off the highway


Lake City, Colorado

Once you leave Creede, Colorado you just take scenic by-way Colorado 149 up to Lake City, Colorado. Another quaint little town nestled in the San Juan Mountain range. Rocky Canyons with high valley floors and crystalline flowing rivers with miles of outdoor beauty. A small town with big history, Lake San Cristobal with boating, fishing, and other water activities. Plenty of hiking opportunities and Ghost towns nearby.  Engineer Pass A Jeep Badge of Honor Tour, one of Colorado's highest roads takes you over to the Alpine Loop which is full of mining history and ghost towns.  


Silverton, Colorado

You can either take Stoney Pass from Creede, Colorado or Engineer Pass from Lake City to The Alpine Loop which takes you directly to this National Historic Landmark and former mining boomtown full of mining history. A cute little town with great shops and restaurants.  There are miles and miles of old mining roads winding in and around the mountains with amazing views.  An off-roaders dream come true. Nearby Engineer Pass, Poughkeepsie Gulch two Jeep Badge of Honor Trails. Corkscrew Pass and Cinnamon Pass are close by too.   



Winslow, Arizona

Another fun stop along old Route 66 with fun shops and a place where you can "Take it Easy".  The town has made a great effort to make this stop special.  A place made famous by the Eagles hit Take It Easy.  A must stop is the Standin' on the Corner Park from the lyrics of the Eagles hit! 

Standin' on the corner of Winslow, Arizona



Bar Harbor, Maine

Lots and lots of shopping and good food! Plus Acadia National Park nearby! 


Taos, New Mexico

One of the prettiest mountain towns in America with an amazing scenic location in the majestic Sangre de Cristo Mountains. Taos has a unique art community and known for its adobe building and historic architecture. There is a world class ski resort nearby along with the most photographed and iconic churches. Close by is a must see Rio Grande Gorge Bridge National Monument. The tenth highest bridge in America. I had no idea it was even there the time I drove to Texas from Colorado. You don’t even realize you are on the bridge until it is too late, and you look down and if you are afraid of heights you will scream like I did. There is a scenic drive that circles through the Carson National Forest. An 83-mile loop through the mountains, valleys, mesa, and national forestland peppered with small community destinations full of activities and annual events. This drive is centered around Wheeler Peak at 13,159 feet, the highest point in the state. There are several places in the area to take your Jeep Off Road.

Salem, Massachusetts

Step back in time the many ghost or witch tours, there are plenty to choose from when you visit this unusual ~cursed at one time~ town. I spent two days in Salem in 2016 an learned a lot about the Salem witches. It was extremely interesting to hear about all the curses and stories about the witch trials. A must stop is Murphys Bar, said to be haunted by the ghosts in the cemetery right next to the building. I couldn’t find much off roading near Salem but if you are into the water there are many maritime activities. The Misery Islands are nearby, as well. 

More Haunted Places in Salem


Forgiveness Doesn't Excuse the Harm Done

Once you truly understand what forgiveness is, you can begin the process of healing. Healing from a destructive relationship requires forgiv...